A Strange Kind Of Love

When I first became aware of you
You seemed too good to be true
I discovered what a comfort you could be
You’d go almost anywhere with me
Or just stay home
In those days I would find the time and money to be with you
You required a great deal of me
Some family and friends didn’t like you
I stood by you no matter what
People would ask me why I kept you around
I always denied your importance in my life
I’d tell them I didn’t need you
I just wanted you
I wouldn’t admit how much I really needed you
As time passed I discovered how much you demanded of me
Still I couldn’t imagine life without you
Some people didn’t mind you at all
Others minded very much
Sometimes I was avoided because of you
I began to understand how limiting you could be
I sized you up for what you are
I came to resent you
So I walked away
And felt a searing pain that wouldn’t go away
I ran back so fast
What a relief that you were waiting
For some reason that irritated me
I left again
I came back
I thought about installing a revolving door
I analysed our being together
I assessed my goals and dreams
I knew I couldn’t achieve all of my goals with you around
Getting you out of my life became my number one priority
I accepted there would be pain and grief in separation
I left you
I would rather have killed myself than return
For the first time I really meant it
This time I didn’t come back
Strange how I became jealous seeing you with other people
I tried to avoid you
No such luck
Some of my friends wanted you around
Some did not
I coped
I began living without you
I met new people
They didn’t want you around
Sometimes I would forget to think about you
Sometimes I remembered only when I saw you
Finally it didn’t matter
You didn’t matter
I don’t think of you any more
If I see or don’t see you it doesn’t matter
Some people thought I’d never live to see this day
I was one of those people

A Strange Kind Of Love – Copyright 1990 – MyChainsAreGone.net